10 More Hilarious Medical Record Bloopers

Have You Heard? – August 25, 2016

Here are 10 more medical record bloopers, from the site doctorslounge.com. These are apparently actual notes in real medical records. What were they thinking when they wrote these? Our commentary is parenthetically added in italics.

  1. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed. (What was your first clue?)
  2. Discharge status: Alive but without permission. (Didn’t know you needed someone’s permission to be alive.)
  3. The patient will need disposition, and therefore we will get Dr. Blank to dispose of him. (Dr. Blank must have quite a reputation around the hospital.)
  4. Healthy-appearing, decrepit 69 year old male, mentally alert but forgetful. (So, now everyone’s a critic?)
  5. The patient has no past history of suicides. (Unless the patient is a cat with 9 lives.)
  6. The patient expired on the floor uneventfully. (Heaven forbid if it caused a ruckus; that would be so disruptive and uncool.)
  7. Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital. (Perhaps that’s where he thought he had the insurance coverage.)
  8. Patient was becoming more demented with urinary frequency. (Having to go all the time could drive someone crazy.)
  9. Patient has chest pains if she lies on her left side for over a year. (Lying down for over a year can cause bigger problems than that.)
  10. He had a left-toe amputation one month ago. He also had a left-knee amputation last year. (Hmm. Something’s not right. Patient has lost all feeling of his left foot.)